pAKOpYA

Hindi pala exam na may passing rate ang buhay
... Huhusgahan ito hindi base sa kung tama o mali ang sagot, kundi base
sa kung may kabuluhan ang mga naisulat o wala. Allowed ang erasures.

-ABNKKBSNPLAKo?!



I was thinking of what stories about me would I tell you at
the moment. My mind is boggled by lots of people and events that made me oh-so
stressed for the past few weeks. Well, here’s a glimpse of my life – my
undaunted adventures.


I often
have problems regarding the overrated emotion brought about by the reactions on
my hypothalamus. Many have said, ‘use your brain not your heart’. I was just
wondrin’ how would I choose between the same thing? My mind versus my mind?
DUH. When you get to be so emotional, you still, of course, use your brain. The
heart-throbbing sensations and cold-clammy feeling are just results of the
impulses. We may not just be logical during these times but we are still using
the brain. How many times have I told myself not to be drowned by my emotions? Pero tao ako, marupok. Well, at least
every relationship is a learning experience. I don’t regret anything. I was
happy with what has been. But I really felt bad with what has taken place these
past few weeks. Ang messy siguro ng test paper ko sa part na ito. Madaming involved
madaming nakisaw-saw. Anyways, trials are good foundations. Dito siguro wala
akong ie-erase. Kung allowed ang erasures, malamang allowed din ang
superimpositions. Papatungan ko na lang yung konting aberya, para masaya.


“Tell me
who you are and I’ll tell you who your friends are.”


It’s like,
give me a mirror, I’ll show you who your friends are. I find this unacceptable
in some way. Just as I would want thank them for being there for me in times of
laughter and tears… for having been there I supposed, but some friendships
evolve in differences. I don’t want to say that there are endings in some
friendships but like in romantic relationships, I think there are ‘cool offs’. We
needed air or space…for us to think over the things we’ve caused the other to
get wounded. This might’ve been hard but it’s for the best. Sometimes, even if
you think you didn’t do anything wrong, take the initiative to patch things up.
Be humble enough. Learn that pride isn’t always on top of your head. There are
things best learned when you lost someone really important to you. I, myself
have proven this to be true.


“Don’t make this too hard for us. I just stepped backwards. For you to realize what you’ve done
what you’ve caused me, what you’ve become. Yeah, people do change, but don’t be
a monster of your own. Learn to keep your COOL. Learn to be real. Learn to be
true. Accept that there are things left unsaid. There are things left unspoken.
Minsan kung wala kang pinoproblema, be thankful about that. Hindi yung
problemahin mo yung buhay ng iba. Friends are part of your life, but sometimes
you don’t have to meddle with THEIR OWN LIFE. We do ‘edit’ at times, especially
when you know that the person you are confiding with cannot anymore be
trusted…think about this friend.”


Sa part na
ito ng-exam, gusto kong mag-erase, ayoko yung nangyari. Masaya akong kasama sya
eh. I want to erase what has happened and replace it with happy moments we’ve
shared… =)